I'm the kind of person who writes in a leather bound, old fashioned paper diary. I don't write every day like I'd love to, just because I put it off continuously and nothing will be written until some big event happens. Of course, then I have to catch up on everything that happened between then and the last thing I wrote about.
The whole lot of this is just a bunch of hooplah. The reason I've been putting of posting anything at all is because I've read such wonderful blogs like 'The Ultimate Goth Guide' and 'Juliet's Lace' and they've all got a purpose or reason to be posted. I'd love to have a great blog where everyone waits in anticipation for each update and post. At this moment, there isn't really a reason. Also, I didn't want to become another whiny teen with a blog complaining to all the world about how everything sucks, because A) that's not what I do... and B) who would read that nonsense anyway, let alone 'enjoy it'.
So far, I'm thinking I'd like to be a place where I decribe my journey through the beautiful subculture of Goth. I already follow it and know my research, so I'm not just some dumb babybat wannabe. I just thought I'd like to make this as sort of a grimoire, like witches do when they record every little thing they do. I know this could get addicting, the blogging I mean, if it starts to turn out the way I want it to.
Right now, what I've got on my mind is the word Serendipity. For those of you who don't know what it means:
Serendipity [ser-uhn-dip-i-tee] (n.)-
1. An unsought, unintended, and/or unexpected discovery and/or learning experience that happens by accident and sagacity.
2. A combination of events which are not individually beneficial, but occurring together produce a good or wonderful outcome.
Now, first let me give you a little backstory. Today was the day where everything I've been keeping in decided to blow up on me and cause a bit of a breakdown. We all get those every-so-often, right? Well, as the night is coming to a close, I went into the room to fold the last bit of laundry to get it off the bed, so that I could then, crawl into bed and ultimately, sleep. As I was folding them, a bit of scrunched paper fell into my hand. When I unrolled it, I realized the paper was a fortune I had shoved into my pocket and was now a little faded and torn from enduring the wash and dry cycles. (Now, let me tell you, during my breakdown, I had talked to my boyfriend on the phone and he let me cry and babble and get it off my chest for a while and it made me feel so much better that he was there for me, even through this nonsense. But currently, I'm not in love with my boyfriend. I feel like I don't know how to love or something, but I can't. He says he loves me and that this is all okay with him.) So anyway, I read the fortune, and it says, "Love is finding things of ourselves in others and the delight in the recognition." This is where I felt that I was meant to find and read this. I'm not saying that I suddenly fell into pathetic, romantical (yes, I'm aware this isn't a word) love with my boyfriend. But it did help me confirm things in my head and somehow, maybe, sorta, reassured a bit in my mind.
That's perfectly alright with me if you don't believe in this type of stuff, but it's been a bit of a reoccurring theme in my life lately, and I'm already not the sort to believe in coincidences.
This is just a bit of magic I thought I'd share with the currently empty audience to my blog. =]
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